FOX 911: "Calling on My Mind" (Powiastka o powołaniu)

 FOX 911: "Calling on My Mind"

"Let no temptation take hold on you, but such as is human. And God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you are able: but will make also with temptation issue, that you may be able to bear it."

~ 1 Cor 10:13

"For which thing thrice I besought the Lord, that it might depart from me. And he said to me: My grace is sufficient for thee; for power is made perfect in infirmity."

~ 2 Cor 12:8–9

If only it wasn't in Georgia but anywhere else! And here: everything was against him. His origins, his health, his... At least his sex was not. The diocesan "bishop" sympathetic to the Congregation still did not even attempt to ordain women. Which is not a small thing as the entity popularly known as the "Novus Ordo church" has been doing just that for years now. Still everything else seemed to be against him. His past, his character... His age! He was well over his mid-thirties. Truth be told, he was much nearer the forty-year mark. Who would have thought of entering a seminary at such a point in his life?

The moral character did not pose a problem. The attitude did, as anyone who'd ever encountered "a stubborn Pole" will know. What passes for this "stubbornness" (inseparably connected with accusations of "morbid individuality") is only too often astuteness. Intelligence. Being men of principle. Which foreigners are not rarely lacking in. Which is hard to admit.

So: Georgia. No place for one like him. But on the other hand: too old, too tired for a change. It's now or never. Or at least he thought so. Make this one last push. Make them let him continue his studies.

Did he drink? He did not. Excessively? No, definitely not. Was he a womanizer? Maybe had been. If so, these days were over for good. For better or for worse.

"For better or for worse." Just like that! If his plans do not come to fruition... There are always alternatives. But let's not think about that for the time being.

F-911 * * * _ _ _ * * * F-911 * * * _ _ _ * * * F-911

How could that be? They threw him out. Dumped him. Kicked him. Not literally, of course, but you get the picture. "No place for someone like you, sorry". Could he do anything, anything at all, to be given one more chance? "Sorry, son". Son! He could have been father to some of the seminary's big shots.

So be it.

A year passed, two... No way. No way! No way! How is he ever gonna fulfil his calling? The doors of all semi-trad seminaries were closed to him. Shut tight. By his own choice. To dig in his heels and knock on the doors of another semi-trad organization he was not able; to make an attempt at entering a full-blown Novus Ordo seminary again he was ashamed.

How to solve the conundrum? No chance of returning to the seminary of his choice. No chance of starting at another one that might be acceptable (tolerable, to be honest). Trying for the Novus Ordo structure – no chance! What then?

Then it necessarily follows that God is preventing him from fulfilling his vocation. That much seems pretty obvious. He tried as hard as he could. Not once, not twice, not even thrice.

Circumstances. The Creator put him in such a position, such a place, such a time that it is well-nigh impossible to do what is demanded of him. That must be it. Maybe... other days, other times... If he had been born in the nineteenth century, it would have been different. If two hundred years ago – same story. Becoming a priest would've been a piece of cake. Damned modernity! And the One who allows it. Lets it be as it is. The One reaping where He sows not. HE WHO IS somewhat neglectful of empowering His weak creature to fulfil its vocation. "I should have been a priest!". He's never been more sure of anything in his whole fricking life. He gnashed his teeth.

And the Lord answering, said to him: . . . . Had He only been given a chance. Not one Catholic would have had any doubts that... He would have kept His end of the promise.

If only he believed...